Freckled Face, Scarred Smile
by Coffee-And-Valentines
Summary: SEQUEL to 'Pretty Girl, Long Sleeves'. A modern AU of Frozen and ROTG. After the traumatizing events in Anna's life, she deals with the stress and fears that would normally be easier such as school love and moving out. Meanwhile Elsa must make ammeds with her feelings for Marco as she learns how to love Jack...The right way. Elsa also deals with the struggle of parenting. smut.
1. The No I'm Not Game

**Okay Guys, so to catch everyone up... this story takes place 3 years after the end and final chapter (Ch. 21) of ****Pretty Girl, Long Sleeves. ****This meaning Anna has graduated from highschool and Miza is in 5th grade. This is a ****_hardcore JELSA_****story from this point out. And this is also a Kristanna story. From now I'm switching from Anna and Elsa's perspective... SO if you get lost- Elsa's chapters always begin and end with this symbol... .:*:. like they did in Pretty Girl, Long Sleeves. Anna's chapters will always begin and end in .(:^:). This is purely to prevent any confusion! **

**Thank you all! I'm going to throw out some upfront warnings such as ****smut ****warnings ****trigger**** warnings and ****graphic adult themes. **

**I love you guys and that you. **

**p.s. I don't own Frozen ok? ok. **

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.:*:.

The metal of the cheap chairs placed around Foster Elementary's gym dug into Elsa's back like a dagger. She could hardly sit still, the nerves combined with the sting in her vertebrae sending shock waves through her spine. On top of that the fifth grade orchestra was trying their hardest to play a peice that sounded alot like dying cats and crying children. Jack's hand squeezed hers just enough to get her attention.

"You okay?" He whispered over the terrible music.

"Yes, my ears might tell you different though." Elsa tried to smile tried to make herself seem ok- or at least like she was in control of the fear in her stomach. She stared up at the ceiling, down at the floor, over at the amazing man sitting next to her. _Man. _She almost laughed out loud.

"Oh- that cello though." Jack smirked sarcastically and tipped his head to the side. Elsa laughed the slightest, but it ended up coming out too nervous, too frightful and her true colors were revealed. "Elsa are you really okay?" Jack slraightened himself and looked right at her. Her eyes were glued to his hand- her head spinning.

She was in **school. **She was in a _SCHOOL. _Her heart was beating fast enough she was deafened. Nothing but the pounding was left and she silently begged her mind to stop- stop trying to play the memories. She didn't realize how hard she was squeezing Jack's hand until he yelped a little.

Elsa forced her eyes open, forced her grip to receed and stared up as everyone stared back. Blood rushed to her face and she leaned into Jack.

"Sorry. this is so hard, I want to go home." She made sure to keep their conversation private when everyone's head swiveled back to the students.

"This is for Miza, remember? You're okay Elsa I got you." Jack wrapped an arm around her and rubbed her shoulder. "If it's to much I'll take you home okay?" She nodded into his chest and focused hard on the missing notes in the school kids' music. B flat... C sharp... A minor... A major...

Once the orchestra left she straightened and perked up to watch the choir walk into the makeshift auditorium offered by the school. She instantly spotted a black fishtail braid followed by a neon pink skirt and bright blue knee high converse. She caught glimplse of a pair of bright green eyes and from Elsa's seat in the third row she smiled, waved a little and mouthed 'good luck'. Miza smiled back, smiling a wide smile - metallic braces and all, flashing a thumbs up and mouting an 'I love you'.

She went to say 'I love you' back but was cut off by the piano and the fifth grade choir singing a song Elsa did not know. She watched Miza's face the entire time, the girl standing up tall and proud- she was so proud of her. The girl's hair held a red extention contrasting her black shirt and neon clothes. She knew that she stuck out in the crowd- and Miza liked it. Elsa loved it, every second of it. She loved the girl's beautiful singing, the way her eyes shined in the auditorium lights.

She loved that Miza loved herself.

Minutes later the girl ran towards Elsa and Jack whp were waiting in the hallway, a place that was horrifying for Elsa- to say the least.

"Mom! Mom did you like it?" Miza stood up tall and smiled.

"It was beautiufl. YOU, were beautiful." Elsa smiled wide- the action colliding with her actual state of mind. But she _was _proud. She loved Miza and for that she would slap on a brave face. Miza just smiled so hard it looked like her face hurt and jumped up into Elsa's arms. Elsa held on tight and swung the girl around for a second.

"Just _look _at her." A whisper sounded to Elsa's left as she set Miza down and she glanced up to find an older couple- maybe in their 50's- and a fifth grader who looked, well, normal. She stood up with her arms crossed and her blonde pigtails up too high, her orange button up making the fifth grader look like a mature middle schooler. "Its _absurd" _The older woman looked down on Miza- her eyes burning with disapproval.

Jack stiffened beside her angrily. Miza looked over at the girl and tipped her head- staring at her curiously. Jack opened his mouth but Elsa set a hand on his shoulder.

"Leave it." Elsa whispered- the older woman looking at her with a disgusted face. She watched her go- child walking next to her with the same stuck-up energy following her, her husband stiffly shuffling next to her while they gossiped loud enough for Elsa and Jack to hear every syllable.

_Whore... Emo... Gothic... Loser... Slut. _

Some things never fucking change. Elsa took Miza's hand and looked down on the girl.

"Those people are weird." She said straightly, looking up at Elsa and smiling halfway. "Her parents are so old thats creepy." Elsa watched the older couple turn and glare at them. Elsa looked down at the girl, surprised, Miza had never really gossiped about people or called anyone a name- but when she looked closer she saw the anger in Miza's eyes and when the girl winked a green eye Elsa almost laughed. The three walked out of the Elementary school, away from the battlefeild still raging on... despite the fact Elsa wasn't even a residant there.

Jack slid into the driver's seat, still tense and angry. She could see the stress was killing him- we was in college, trying to create a relationship with Elsa... and that included parenting Miza, and Anna when nessecary. She let out a long- quivering breath, as soon as she left the school premises she felt a weight lift, as if she had been balencing an anvel on her head.

"Did you hear them Elsa? I swear the things some people say about you...about us, " His grip on the steering wheel increased until his knuckles whitened and his foot pressed down on the accelerator pedal for a split second.

"Jack-" Elsa set her hand on his shoulder, "Its not anything I can't handle." He let his foot off the pedal and his grip loosened. She lowered her voice. "I'm more worried about Miza."

"Please dont talk about me like I'm not here." Miza peeped up in the back- looking up at Elsa with huge emerald eyes. Elsa laughed a little and looked back at her, leaning on Jack's seat to look at her.

"miza, darling I just hope what they say doesn't hurt you."

"Mom! I'm not worried about it, seriously. I don't care. Emily said my converse were weird and I said she looks like an elephant when she wears her earrings. Really it doesn't bother me, plus they are comfortable." Miza smiled wide and looked out the window. "I just like being myself. People are so boring."

Elsa smiled, she should have known. "Okay, I shouldn't have ever been worried about you, should I?"

"Nope!" Miza smirked in the backseat and rolled down the window, her hair blowing away from her face. She was so beautiful, and so confident- a thing Elsa knew she would have died for when she was a middleschooler.

"Well Miza you did excellent." Jack mumbled from the front seat, just barely loud enough for Miza to hear his anger still disturbing the air around him, suffocating the girl in long sleeves next to him.

"Thanks Jack." she smiled again.

Elsa looked up at the two, each of them slowly medicating her head to the point where her memory slowly faded into the backnoise.

.:*:.

.(:^:).

Sometimes, she would just stare at the T.V. until every picture perfect face blended away. She would sit and think until her head stung with a migrane and her eyes burned with bloodshot. She would think, she would imagine, she would fear, and she would smile. The only problem being that she never _really _smiled. No, on the inside her grin was ear-to-ear. but there was a problem, her scar. It wasn't like her feeling made her unable to smile. She smiled- a 50% smile, due to the pain and the scar tissue. Just another reminder.

As if stairwells and lockers, school cafaterias and books falling out of people's hands was not reminder enough.

_It happened. _The triggers would whisper to her. _It happened. _

Anna shook her head feircely, why was it she always seemed to find herself narrating her own pitiful stories? She shoved herself off the couch so feircely it moved about an inch and crashed into the wall. The bang sent her jumping across the room.

Loud bangs. Add that to the pathetic list of crap that ignited her memories. Loud bangs, like the one right before she blacked out.

**Bang. **_'Anna!' _and then- the darkness. The dark.

Fuck she hated the dark.

Anna stormed down the hallway, passing each room until she entered hers. Green bedsheets greeted her as she fell onto the fabric. She didn't know what she was doing anymore, but she saw the darkness and she screamed into the sheet. She gripped the cotton and screamed until her breath was gone.

When she looked up it was night, and again there was too much darkness. She bolted for the lightswitch, clicking it- praying that the images would vanish. She dug her nails into her scalp, pressed her forehead into the white walls until she swore morning had come. When she finally looked up, she found herself staring at the closest object, her vanity where a mirror was calling her name. She peeked at it, playing tis game of 'not I'm not' turning her head.

She looked at the left side of her face. _I'm beautiful. _

She turned and looked at her entire face. _No I'm not. _

Left side. _I'm beautiful_

Right side. _No I'm not. _

The scar was not ugly, it was mortifying. Her jaw was re-constructed but her skin would stay forever. The skin pulled at her lip, the light colored flesh refusing to ever let her smile again... literally. her cheek was no longer much of a cheek- skin pulled away from it's center which was sown back together and healed after months. She turned again. _I'm beautiful. _

he turned again. _No I'm not. _

A loud bang from the front door was enough to send her jumping across the room again and she let out a tiny scream, covering her mouth. It was just Elsa and Jack- she could already hear her sister storming down the hallway.

"Anna?" Elsa glided through the door- horror plastered over her face, and once she saw Anna still in one peice it disappeared, turning into worry. "Anna, what's wrong?" Elsa stepped forward, cupping Anna's cheek- her good one- in her hand and wiping away a tear with her thumb.

Was she crying? Hell she haden't even noticed- it all felt the same to her.

"Anna," Elsa gieded them both back to Anna's bed, sitting her down and holding her close. Anna stared at the envolope in the fabric next to them- her letter from Gerren Veiw college for the arts. The one two hundered miles away in California. "Anna- shhh, its okay, what is it sis?" Anna looped her arms around Elsa's torso- her tears soaking into the grey sweat shirt. She gripped Elsa so hard she was probably hurting the older woman.

"Elsa, I'm so scared." She refused to look up, refused to look her sister in the eye.

"Moving? oh, anna I'm scared too... You'll do just fine though Anna I'm sure in a few weeks you wont even notice you're gone. " Elsa gripped her tighter.

"Will you miss me?"

"More then anything." Anna snorted a little and Elsa looked down at Anna until she met her eyes. "Really. I'm seriously terrified."

"Me too. I'll miss you Elsa." She let go of her sister and wiped away the tears- staring at the white folder laying on her sheets. "What if someone says something?" Anna looked back up into endless blue orbs.

"Like what?" Elsa whispered.

"You know what." Anna bit her lip, both of them knew exactly what Anna was saying. The scar. What about the scar?

"Anna. I doubt anyone will say anything... "

"I doubt that." Anna glared at her. "Just look at what happened to you, when people saw." She blurted out the words before she could stop herself, tears already streaming down her face- her hand flying to her mouth. "Elsa- Elsa I'm s-so sorry I didn't-"

Elsa silenced her with a hand, her face stone-hard and her jaw clenched. The gret sleeves hiding what they both knew was there. At least Elsa could hide under sweatshirts and bracelets.

"Not all people are bad people Anna, even I can say that."

"... I know Elsa." She looked up before the silence eloped them fully. Both of them struggling to fight their tears.

"You're beautiful Anna." Elsa mumbled and kissed Anna's forehead before receeding out of the room. Anna stared at her hands, stared back at the vanity, stared at the walls, the ceiling, she just stared. She numbed herself and slid off the bed- slowly packing away paintings and clothes, packing away her emotions and watching them seal away in cardboard boxes.

.(:^:).


	2. Gone

**Just to prevent any confusion, I updated chapter 1- so there IS story on it, remember to go back abnd read that first :) **

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.:*:.

She felt breathless but found no need to inhale. The world around her stood desolate and abandoned. Hallway after hallway she roamed Fallen Highschool. She looked over at the girl's bathroom by the English hall. A feeling of terror spreading as she saw him there- Hans, the bastard grinning with a sinister smile. She turned, trying to run but her feet were too heavy, trying to scream but when she lifted her mouth to her face she fould thread stitches lacing them tightly together. She paniced, not knowing were her slow moving feet were taking her... To the cafeteria were a bloodied Courtney reached up as Elsa and stared at her. She turned, walking away from the death girl begging for help. A sickening in her stomach whispered _Your fault, your fault _in her ears, and she swore- she **swore **she felt the toxic of his touch on her shoulders, the pain suddenly enough to make her yell- a silent yell due to the stitches. She blinked, all she did was blink... right? And there was the stairwell, there was Marco- there was Hans and Anna, there was a picture of herself. She watched as Hans grabbed Anna- HER Anna- and held the gun to her head. She tried to jump forward, to save her sister, but there were nails holding her feet in place. She stared in horror as the story unfolded in a different way... Marco jumped forward a second too soon- Hand pulls the trigger and this time It's Anna who is falling- its Anna who whispers Elsa's name as she crumbles on the floor- It's Anna whose funeral is laced in black.

Elsa bolts upwright in the bed- screaming at the wall- she reaches for her shoulder, making sure his hand is not there- she rips the covers off her feet to make sure the nails have disappeared. She touched her lips and continues to scream- the stitches are gone.

"Elsa!" Jack rolls next to her and bolts, reaching for her- swiping her and balling her up in his embrace. "Elsa, Elsa shh..."

She claws at his chest to make sure he is really there- she stops screaming when she presses her face into his cotton shirt- sobbing from the reality of the dream. She's had it so many times... the exact same patterns and peices.

Shouldn't she have this memorized by now?

"The nightmare again?" He whispers into her hair. She nods, still unable to make sound. He lays her back down, pulling her into him, his warmth comforting and familiar- slowly bringing her out of the state of mind she had been caught in. He kisses her head, his lips never leaving while he whispers. "It's okay Elsa, Everything is ok now, I got you." His other hand rubs her back, a notion they both know has always provided comfort for Elsa. She squeezes her eyes shut, holding onto Jack's shoulder for her life. As if they both knew all the answers. She looks up at him, forcing him to break away his lips, and instead pressed hers against his. Slowly kissing away the dark.

Moonlight drips into the room from the window, drizzling over the bed so silently its deafening. She and Jack had never gone farther then the kisses and the snuggles, she didn't feel like she needed to or like she was ready to. Something stopped them both each time they got close, and maybe one day they could both share their hearts in a way requiring so much intamacy.

Elsa pulled away- setting her forehead against Jack's, linking her hand with his.

"I love you Els,"

"Love you too Jack." She whispered into the thiness around them. He rubbed her arm, his touch hot against hers. She could feel his fingertips brush the silvered scars, shame almost made her want to cry.

"You're so cold," He mumbled, his breath hot against her cheek.

"Then you better warm me up." Elsa smiled as Jack wrapped them both up in the comforter. His hands drawing circle don her back, while she traced over the line of his jaw, mezmorized by his presence. She reviwed the dream in her head until the repeat button was stuck. When the tears rolled off her face Jack's thumb was wiping them away, kissing forming on her forehead. But each time she played through the dream she came to the same conclusion; She was thankful it was Marco, and not Anna.

The though wouldn't leave her alone and she knew what a terrible thought it was... what a true thought it was. Elsa whimpered pathetically, Jack trying to pick up her peices and put them back together- he started talking but his words blended away into the backnoise.

.:*:.

.(:^:).

She set the last of the boxes in the trunk of the Honda Accord, sighing a drawn out- shaky breath. She stared at the cardboard boxes filled with her few possestions and favorite paintings, encluding the one of her and Elsa. She slammed the truck, her hands trembling with fear. How was she ever going to fit into a world full of beautiful people? She sure wasn't one of them.

.(:^:).

.:*:.

Elsa threw her arms around Anna, sobs erupting from them both. Her lungs burned from the previous night of crying, and now they were sore. She squeezed Anna, praying that if she held on for a few more seconds Anna wouldn't leave. In reality she was happy for Anna, but she was also terrified. She had to protect Anna... what is something happened to her? Elsa would never forgive herself. When she finally let go of Anna, she kissed her cheek, the bad one, and Anna burst into tears. Again, for about another five minutes the two just hugged out in the front lawn, she gripped her sister like she'd never see the freckle- faced girl again. When she let go, a teary eyed Miza was latched onto Anna. Jack gave her a quick hug, and all too fast Anna was gone.

Just like that.

She stepped into her car and drove away, gone.

Gone.

Elsa _hated _that word.

She stepped back into a house that suddenly felt empty, sat on the green-sheeted beg across the hall from hers- stared into an upright vanity, and wondered why it felt like she was alone, when there were two people sitting next to her.

.:*:.

.(:^:).

The road was endless, black, desolate. Anna hated driving- and her blurred vision created by the tears was too overwhelming. She kept looking in her rearveiw mirror- half expecting to see Elsa and Jack waving goodbye- was she really this far from home?

_Home. _Anna bit her lip and pulled over. When it started raining, she set her head on the driver's wheel and just let it pour. When she finally put her peices together, she continued a long- sleepless drive. She shoved a CD into the player- and blastde the radio to numerous songs by a band she did not know, it was all Elsa's music. the bands she reacognized by the shirts Elsa wore and not by their album covers or lead singer's voices. She played the disco on repeate until she had every Korn song memorized. She shouted every lyric, understanding why Elsa would love the ribcage rattling bass and the shredding of a guitar.

It was so much easiter to loose yourself, so much easier to pretend the pounding in your chest was really caused by the snare, or the dark lyrics. So much easier to just stop thinking, to just pretend you're okay.

.(:^:).


	3. Lets Be Friends

**I apologize for this short chapter, however what ended up happening is that Elsa's portion of this chapter was so long I figured I would take it out and make it its own chapter, you'll understand why :) **

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.(:^:).

She needed very little help taking her boxes to her dorm, she only had 4 so two trips was only nessasacary. Once she was settled in a blue- sheeted bed the first thing she did was take the painting of her and Elsa out and set it on the desk- propping it up against the wall. Then she placed another one of her favotites- one of Elsa's hand reaching down- grabbing Miza's- next to it. Followed by the painting of Tooth's hair and another of a snowman in a summery day. She looked down at her boxes when the desk was full. Three of the four boxes was just that- paintings. Some of them darker- such as to painting of a pair of huge- multi-colored eyes surrounded by a feild of dying roses. Or the tree with a branch on fire- slowly spreading to the rest of it. No, one of her darkest was a rotten apple on the sidewalk- everything living on it's side pulling away, disgusted.

She glanced over at the seat across from her, a roomate would make their home on the other half of the room- Anna wondered if they would say anything about her scar, the thought making her cringe. A knock on the door and a blue eyed face peered through the door.

"Oh Hi!" The girl was instantly a few feet away from Anna witch an outstreched hand and a smile plastered across her face. The jealousy was instant. "I'm Fluer, you must be Anna Aren?" She thrush a peice of blue paper with 'DORM 62' In black letters with both _Anna Aren _and _Fluer Mecroti _scrawled into collums listing other various things like Fluer's schedule.

"Yeah, thats me." Anna looked up at her and she smiled back.

"Of course you are! Oh wow did you paint those?" Fluer bounced over to the desk, maintaning a small amount of distance between herself and the canvases. Anna nodded quietly while taking a moment to look the girl up and down. She wore a plain shirt and jeans, her only attire otherwise being a pair of Vans and a beanie. She reminded her too much of Elsa. "This should be so cool Anna, it's nice to meet you- would you like to meet my friends- we could go down to the dining hall tonight."

" Oh.. uhm, sure?" Anna pulled her legs up onto the bed with her and watched as Fluer continued to talk.

"Oh good." Fluer turned, her sleeve falling off her shoudler and revealing a section of skin redder then the rest. She narrowed her eyes the slightest- a scar? Anna's heart almost fell right out of her chest- a scar covered Fluer's shoudler and traced her neck. She torw her gaze away before Fluer noticed- knowing how much it hurt to catch someone staring.

"I think my friends would really like you Anna, and maybe you could look at my art sometime? Of course I'm not a painter- I'm a pencil and paper type of person but really I'd like to show you." Fluer put her hands behind her back and smiled wide again. Anna smiled back as much as she could.

"Sure, I'd love to." Her liking towards the girl with the scar growing fonder. She took another moment to recognize the spider bite peircings on her lip and the gauges in her ears.

'Oh great!" Fluer pulled her sleeve up on her shoulder quickly and continued to unpack her things. "Here." Fluer handed Anna a sketchbook- full of fantasy things like dragons and girls with flowers blooming on their skin, boys who were half beast and women with icy powers.

"Wow."

"I know far fetched but-"

"No I love them!" Anna looked up and smiled, running her hand over a girl with a snowflake bursting from her hand.

.(:^:).

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**If anyone got the referances to Destroying Elsa in that Chapter, thank you- I love you. **

**So just throwing this chapter in there with a warning of smut in the next chapter.**


	4. Lets Drink Coffee

**Ok guys, I have not written a smut chapter in _forever. _So if it sucks, so sorry. Also The added humor in the end was a little rushed I know but really I just hope you enjoy this chapter. **

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.:*:.

"Wait!" Elsa burst through the door and barely caught the green eyed girl. 'Miza, you always forget." She pressed a brown paper sack into Miza's hands.

"Oh, thanks Ma," Miza smiled and ran into the belley of the bus. Elsa watched as Miza passed multiple seats full of dull looking childern until she found a seat with a boy-Jared- who was wearing a beanie and smiling a huge smile, along with Rayne- the two still being attached at the hip. Elsa looked up and waved at the three- all of them smiling and waving back She looked up at the sun beating down on her forehead and despit the heat she pulled down her blue sleeves. She stumbled back inside, pulling her braid over her shoulder while she returned to her coffee. She pulled out the chair and sat quietly, studying the steam patterns wafting out of its warmth.

She didn't have work today, and Jack was taking a day off of school- a rare occurance since he was fully eloped in his journalism career and working at the flower shop was always demanding. While she sipped at the coffee she stared at the blank bote pad in front of her. What Elsa really wanted was to go to school for journalism like Jack was, however Jack had a full ride scholarship- Elsa had never even finished highschool, and for now it was just more reasonable for her to be the one paying the bills while Jack took advantage of a penny-less education. She honestly felt more like a thirty year old woman then a 20 year old girl. Hell- she couldn't even legally drink yet, but she was paying rent for the duplex, grocery shopping for three and working 5 days a week- 12 hours a day.

"Did I make it right?" Jack's arms wrapped around Elsa's shoulders and his head sat lightly atop hers.

"You always do." Elsa smiled and sipped at the coffee, the combination of her long sleeves and the heart warming fluid making her sweat. They stayed there in silence for moments, Jack taking her cup and sipping from it. She smiled. "We should do this more often,"

"What?"

"Just stay home," Elsa smiled and shifted in the chair- Jack's gaze meeting hers. "and drink coffee." She clicked her fingernails on the empoty cup while Jack went back into the kitchen.

"Do you want another cup?" He asked with a smirk.

"I think you know the answer to that." Elsa laughed a little, she always wanted more coffee. She glided over to the kitchen, taking a minute to lean up against the counter and watch Jack. He had definantly changed since when she first met him, his shoulders had broadened and he stood a few inches taller then Elsa, his chest had filled out and his legs had as well. He had matured about 5 or 6 years within the 3 she had known him. His eyes still shined with mischief, his skin was still porcelain white and he still smiled a crooked smile- these things being the reasons she could still be around him, and unlike anyone else in the shooting, she could see light.

He turned back around with a cup of coffee and stood in front of her, handing her the cup and smiling. She took one sip, her eyes only leaving his for a split second. She set the cup down on the counter behind her and looked back up at him, bracing herself against the counter with her hands and smirking.

"What did I make it wrong?" Jack looked back down at her- his eyes gleaming happily. She shook her head.

"No, perfect as always." Elsa's braid had fallen out of it's tie and she had not realized it was begining to unravel until it was too late and when she ran her fingers over it, the rest of the braid started coming undone.

"Oh, you're loosing something." Jack picked a hair tie up off the tile and started to put her braid back together. She took his hand and slowly pulled it away.

"Leave it, its already undone anyways." Elsa looked up and caught his eyes, the sudden realization of her metaphor stilling her thoughts. She let go of him, looking down.

"Let me fix it," Jack ran a hand over her jaw and she looked back up at him, then turned to the side so he could but her hair back together. Jack's hands ran through her hair gently.

"Were did you learn how to braid Jack?" Elsa laughed a little as he tied it back together.

"I live with Miza, before she learned how- and when you and Anna are not here in the morning - Miza still needed someone to do her hair." Jack laughed a little. "Trust me I gave up alot of my pride that day." They both giggled and looked up at eachother. She studied his face again, reacognized the scar on his cheek, the way his eyebrows curved unevenly, the perfect bow of his lips, each feature giving her a better sense of home she had come to know so well. She lifted a hand and touched his shoulder- memorizing the hill of muscle there. His hand glided across her hip to her back and pulled her close- maintaining their steady eye contact. Her breath slowed- her entire world stuck on half speed.

She traced the curve of his jaw, running a fingernail over the bone there. She slowly inched forward, slamming her eyes shut and pressing her lips against his. They held the kiss until neither of them had any breath left and both pulled away. His lips instantly finding her neck while she ran her fingers away from his cheek- back through his hair. She shivered each time a cold kiss landed on her exposed neck, his hands running up her back until she could hardly stand but to moan.

The sound was so forgien on her tongue- sour from the lack of use. She almost lifted a hand to her mouth, but the heat radiating from them both pulled them so close she found her hands wouldn't leave his skin. The taste of coffee lingered on both there lips, Elsa stared up at Jack and a realization hit her so hard in the face her knees trembled.

"I love you Jack." The words trembled in her throat, viberating her chest and dizzying her vision. He pulled away from her neck, staring- but with the most beautiful expression upon his features.

"I love you too Elsa." He kissed her forehead, and she wrapped her arms around his neck- and he set his on her waist. For moments, the entire world disappeared- it was Elsa and Jack, no one else. The world didn't matter anymore- this moment was more important. This moment was perfection at its purest. Another kiss drew out the next moments.

Elsa was the one who decided to take the first step- she flicked her tongue on the very tip of Jack's teeth- instantly intensifying the moment. She bite his lip the tiniest, dug her nails into his neck.

Jack stepped away from the counter- Elsa wrapped in his arms. She pulled away from the kiss- attacking his neck and shoulders, her hands fleeing his shoulders and tracing the seams of his shirt. Slowly the two began their exit from the kitchen- stumbling across the living room couch, were Jack instantly layed Elsa back- again pressing his lips to hers hard. She grappled for the bottom of his shirt- peeling it over his head and throwing it to god knows were in the room. His lips fled hers for the split second it took for the shirt to travel from his body to the floor before instantly returning.

How long had it been since Elsa felt this _free? _She struggled to push the thought away, enjoying the blanks that she drew and the way her mind seemed to shut up each time Jack's lips touched her skin. She drew her nails over the skin of his back- Jack breaking the kiss to land multiple pecks- followed by nips and bites on her neck and collar. Jack's attention fell to her shirt, he started to peel it off when her most un-favorite thoughts suddenly returned to her.

_Wait! _

Her hand shot off his skin- gripping his hand and stopping him before he could remove the fabric.

"Elsa?"

She stared down at the battle of hands- the way hers corrected his and shuddered. She let go- looked up at him with huge eyes to find him looking back with equally concerned spheres. She gulped, her insecurities being forced into her throat.

"Elsa whats wrong?" He whispered so quietly she could barely hear him. She stared for a few minutes- her eyes blurring with the familiarity, Jack had seen the scars many times- what was stopping her?

She layed back , staring at the ceiling for a moment before glancing back at him- the man still concerned. He creeped back slowly- touching her face gently and kissing her cheek.

"Are you not ready for this?" He mumbled onto her skin.

"No!" Elsa's thought vocalized itself without a consent. "No..." She shook her head- taking Jack by the hand and practically dragging him off the couch- across the hallway and into their bedroom, closing the door behind her, but not nothering to lock it. When she turned around a still concerned Jack looked back at her. She walked up to him and grabbed his shoulder- bringing him forward into a kiss before pushing him back on the bed. "I just thought here would be better." Her chest burned with a sudden confidence. She was ready- she knew exactly what she was doing. Her heart rate increased, She hooked her fingertips around the seam of her shirt- slipping out of the long sleeves and letting them drop to the floor. She looked up for Jack's approval before unbottoning her jeans, stepping out of them and walking back to him- her breath was tense, excitement and nerves compelling her to push him into a laying position. She looked down at Jack, all of the time they had been together resurfacing on her memory, every affection she had ever given or received from him burning into passion, clawing at her lungs. Her heart pounded loudly enough she swore he could hear it.

"Elsa, you're beautiful." He ran cold hands down her sides, skimming her rib cage and her back. She could feel the heat run to her cheeks- who was the last person to tell her that?

Jack rolled over, Elsa trapped beneath him. She stared back up at him, smirking.

"What?" Jack smiled a crooked smile back, his eyes gleaming.

"You." Elsa replied, another smile dancing its way gorgeously across her face.

He laughed a little- her lips colliding with his again. His touch roamed her stomach while she reached for his jeans- quickly unbottoning them and pulling the denim off. She rolled, trapping him by hooking her knees on either side of his hips- diving for his neck and pressing her hands to his chest. He reached for her bra strap, kissing her shoulder and unlatching the back. Once that was out of the way Jack rolled over one last time- this time Elsa complied, melting under his touch. Each kiss was a symphony- gliding across her skin elegantly.

A hand cupped her breast and Elsa inhaled sharply, as Jack kneaded she let tiny moans escape her lips. Her skin tingled with excitement, every nerve pushing her forward. Jack kissed her, their tongues touching perfectly before he backd awat, landing another kiss on her chin, down her neck and to her sternum- passing her breasts and lacing their was down her abdomen. She braced herself, her fingers twining with the sheets when her touched her panties.

His fingers hooked underneath the fabric, sliding them off and away. Slowly, they were guided down her legs- Jack's lips following. From her thigh, to her knee- to her calf he left a trail of kisses before discarding the underwear and making his way back up. he stopped at her core- meeting her eyes before his fingers touched her.

She mumbled his name- her toes curling at the gentle brush of his fingers. He kissed her hipbone before entering her with a finger. She moaned- her legs twitching with anticipation. He entered again with two fingers- another cry escaping her.

Elsa's core tightened around his fingers- and when he began pumping them in and out she bucked her hips into his touch.

"Jack-" He stopped to look up at her "-No please don't stop!" He continued his rhythem until Elsa thought she would hit her climax- her eyes shutting tightly. He sped up the pace- Elsa's mouth dropping open and her hand flying to muffle her crys. Then he stopped- Elsa's heart and core throbbing. She moaned again in aggrivation as her nails dug into the sheets. Jack snaked his way back up her body- stopping at her face where he took her hand away. Her breath was fast and hot while Jack's was getting there. He slipped out of his boxers- his manhood at full erection.

The hand from her face he intertwined with his own, hile his knees pushed hers apart wider. He kissed her lips again- pulling back to meet their similar gaze. She looked up at the man with a lovely smile.

"You sure?" He whispered.

"Of course," Elsa breathed back- her head pounding with want, her heart beating with passion. He kissed her again- entering her so slowly it hurt. She contained a moan to hold onto the kiss- her hand around his tightening. Her broke the kiss- his eyes looking down as he fully entered her. She cryed out once Jack was fully pressed into her, Elsa's eyes slamming shut and her nails ripping the fabric of her bed. He set a pace so slow each time he moved shivers ran up her spine, slowly increasing their speed. His thrusts were gently- but his breath was rigid and with each thrust Elsa felt her climax nearing. Their hands never disconnected, each minute their joint's soreness growing.

Elsa's lungs burned with the breath she could not give them, her body tensening as her orgasm neared.

Jack groaned as he came inside of her- this being enough to send her boiling over the edge, her body arched and she cried one last time as a long-lived climax dominated her body.

They stilled- Jack pulling out of her slowly, and rolling to his side. Their breath the only sound audible. Elsa looked over at their hands- still interwined and now loose with exhaustion. She stuidied Jack again, her ribs burning with effort. His lips parted- eyes shut, his chest rising and falling rapidly. She inched close to him, turning herself over were her back could rest aginst his chest. He wrapped her up in arms strong enough to keep her together and kissed at her cheek. They layed in bed for what left like hours- sunlight from the blinds peeking through at their bare bodies.

Elsa turned to smile at him- another kiss dominating her mind. She held his hand tighter- never wanting to let the moment go.

"I love you." she whispered on his lips.

"I love you too." Jack smiled back- he opened his mouth to say something more when the front door opened and a voice called to them.

"Ma! Jack! I'm HOOOMMMEEE!" Miza's happy voice echoed through the halls. Elsa and Jack's eyes widened, their door being too far away and Miza's footsteps being too close. Elsa stared at the door- back at Jack- and did what only she could hope was the right option by shoving him off the bed, watching him topple over to the side that did not face the door.

"Of-"

"SH!" Elsa threw a pillow over the side at him, rolling up in her sheets just as Miza opened the door.

"Hey- Mom what are you still doing in bed?" A green eyes gaze giggled and turnd her head sideways.

"Nothing," Elsa responded too quickly and Miza threw a folder on the bed.

"Well anyways- you have to sign this for our new science unit at school."

Elsa opened the blue colored folder. "And what unit would that-" She looked down at a paper titled Sex Ed "Oh..."


	5. What's That?

**I hope you guys like this chapter and the new Icon. I don't own this image but I do own this edit of the image (both the words and the coloration and all that blah blah blah) so here's your chapter! **

* * *

.(:^:).

"This is Rafe, and this is Nike- Colletta, Sinseta and Caine." Fluer gestured to a group of kids who all looked back up at Anna with huge smiles- for the most part. She stared at the almost empty table as a diverse group of people stared back at her. She worried instantly- they were staring at her scar- they were staring weren't they? A girl with amazingly long blonde hair and bright blue eyes stood up at held her hand right out to Anna. Huge glasses amplified aqua colored orbs, a blue skirt was decorated by a white button up and black tights.

"Colletta- Anna its good to meet you." The girl's hand's were covered in dried clay but Anna took it anyways and shook it. The next boy to stand up had chocolate colored skin and huge white teeth.

"Caine." He held hands covered in splinters and scars out to her. Anna nodded again, taking another hand- finding herself surprised when the boy threw his arms around her.

"Oh-"

"Oops, sorry. I like hugs." The boy backed off and plopped back down in his chair.

"Oh- I didn't mean that I just-"

"Don't mind him," Anna swirled around quickly finding another boy staring down at her. Sudden spikes of anxiety running electric through her spine. She jumped back- almost running into the table. "Oh- are you okay?"

"Nike back off you're crowding her." Fluer practically tackled Nike and pushed everyone away, leaving Anna a little breathing space. "I am so sorry they are a little overwhelming."

"No- its okay really." She turned back to the boy who startled her- shoving her hand out. "Anna." He took it and smiled, his white hair flying and hazel eyes shining.

"Nice to meet you Anna."

The last boy had his arm looped around Fluer's waist and a girl was leaning against the table- observing the commotion.

"And you are?" Anna sucked in a breath, marched up to the table and held out her hand. Not all of her courage was gone, but her heart was still pounding as if she could feel their gaze burning her scar tissue.

"Sinseta." The girl looked down at Anna's hand but glared back up with dark green eyes- obviously not a touchy person.

"Oh... sorry." Anna dropped her hand. Sinseta shrugged and waited for Nike to return to her side.

"Anna this is Rafe." Fluer directed Anna's attention back to the boy with black hair and oddly glassy eyes- wait... he was blind?

"Hey," The boy's frown never left his face and his eyes flicked uselessly in Anna's direction. She was about to introduce herself when a sudden movement out the corner of her eye snatched her attention.

"Hey Kirstoff what are you doing around here?" Colletta piped up and instantly turned the boy towards Anna. "This is Anna- Anna, Kristoff, Kristoff Anna."

The boy had huge brown eyes, his clothes stained with lead. He had a dark beanie and loose T-shirt, his jeans covered in the marks left by a concentrated artist.

"Hi... I'm Anna." She held her hand out to him- and he took it so gently she thought maybe she had touched a cotton ball. The boy smiled and gestured to his clothes, covered in leads and oils of all colors.

"So much for first impressions?" He smiled a little and blushed. "Kristoff."

"Well nice to meet you Kristoff." Anna managed a three-quarter smile despite the pain ringing in her cheek.

"Nice to meet you Anna."

.(:^:).

.:*:.

"Is it clear yet?" Jack whispered from the side of the bed. Elsa giggled the slightest and crawled across the bed, leaning over the edge to meet Jack's gaze. He stared back up at her with icy eyes and a mischievous smile, leaned up and kissed her softly. She pulled him back onto the bed where they tumbled for a couple minutes, hiding under the covers where their skin touched for brief seconds and their senses tingled.

Elsa slid away from the comforter's warmth and curled into the cold sheets- stepping off the bed and dancing towards the bathroom, Jack followed suit- the two slipping away into the shower where the steam between them seemed thicker then the water running hot on their skin.

"Don't you think Miza will want to know where I am?" Jack broke the deathly silence.

"She's a smart girl she'll either figure it out or think you're out doing something." Elsa whispered into the heat. Her skin was on fire but inside she was still chilled by the cold. Her fingers releasing the braid and raking her hair while Jack's arms looped around her from behind. Elsa's mind was made up- she loved Jack, she knew she did, and it was time to let go of Marco- three years and the scars were starting to heal- right? She glanced at her arms- the tops perfectly white and melting into to Jack's similar complexion. When she turned them, the faded white lines still stood out, sirens warning: This girl is broken.

She cringed and bite her lip at her own narration.

"What is it Elsa?" Jack mumbled in her ear- his voice her ladder out of the hole. She found herself clinging to him before the memories could wake up and eat her alive.

"It's nothing. I'm just..." She laughed a little. "Just lost." Jack held her tighter, as if her analogy meant he couldn't find her either.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Jack's body against hers a relief to her lonely bones.

"Not really." Elsa whispered into thinning air. The duplex had limited hot water- and as the sink in the kitchen or the neighbor's shower went on Jack and Elsa almost instantly lost the warm water- freezing cold liquid pouring down on them. She twisted the knob quickly- turning it off and looking back at a drenched Jack. "I don't really have the words to explain it right now." She clutched her hands and held them close to her, looking up at her best friend.

"Then don't say a word." Jack smiled and ran a hand through her hair, landing it on her cheek. Elsa leaned into his icy touch- never once letting her gaze drop from his.

.:*:.

.(:^:).

The phone rang and Anna lumped so hard she hurt her ankle in the process. She let out a shrill yelp before realizing there was really no danger besides the fact Anna had not called Elsa when she got there like she was supposed to. She reached for the phone and as she guess it was Elsa. She took on gulp, preparing herself for an upset Elsa while she pressed the answer icon.

"Hello-?"

"Anna! Dammit you had me worried so badly- what the hell?" She knew Elsa would respond like this- She worried too much about Anna. But then again, who could blame her?

"Sorry I totally forgot, I was going to call you tonight I swear." No she wasn't. She probably would have forgotten then, too. On the other end Elsa took a long breath.

"I'm sorry I just worry about you. Is everything ok? Do you like your roommate?"

"Yes everything is fine, the dorms are nice and the people are nice- and my roommate, she is just the best." Anna tried to sound more enthusiastic but quiet honestly she was beginning to forget what enthusiasm felt like.

"How are the classes?" Anna sighed- each class except art of course, was really just another reminder that yes, she was in school. **School.**

"They're fine, I love the art classes here." Anna glanced at the empty bed across the room- Fluer was staying the night at Rafe's apartment.

"Of course you do Anna."

"Well, I'm going to bed..." No she wasn't. "I love you."

"I love you too Anna." She hung up the call and threw her phone on the bed- she really should just put that thing on vibrate or silent. The last thing she really needed was another reminder that yes, she was in school. Her own little nightmare.

.(:^:).

.:*:.

"Elsa-" Miza's voice startled them both and the doorknob started turning just as Elsa was about to open the shower curtain she sealed it shut again. "do you know where Jack is?" The fifth grader stepped into the room and Elsa watched her silhouette dance across the bathroom through the shower curtain. She glared at Jack and mouthed _You seriously didn't lock the door?_ and he just shrugged apologetically.

"No Miz, I don't know were Jack is I think he went to the store?" Miza did this sometimes, she would step into the bathroom and sit on the counter while Elsa was getting dressed and they would talk about whatever it was they could talk about. Miza jumped onto the counter, waiting for Elsa to come out. She glared at Jack- their non-verbal fight continuing.

_How did you forget to lock the door?_

_I don't know? I thought she wouldnt come in? _

_You still couldn't lock the door?_

_I forgot! _

_How could you forget after what happened like ten minutes ago?_

_*shrug*_

_*glare* _

_(in unison) **"Its not my fault!" **_

Elsa clapped her hand over her mouth and Jack did the same, both realizing their words had been vocalized.

"Elsa who is in their with you?" Miza's fingers appeared on the edge of the shower curtain and it was too late to stop her. As the fabric slid open Elsa jumped in front of Jack. Miza had seen her naked many times but Jack would probably be a surprise. Elsa was much shorter- and it was still obvious that Jack was naked but at least Miza didn't see anything she hadn't already.

Miza gasped at first, stared for a second and then stepped back- folding her arms across her chest and raising an eyebrow at them. Elsa managed a blush and a smile, she inched for the towels on the rack and snatched two of them. Waiting for Jack and then wrapping herself- the entire time Miza stood their like she was the parent and Elsa was the stupid child who forgot to lock the door.

Elsa sat across the table from Miza- Jack and herself still dripping wet and in only a towel because Miza had not let them be. Her arms were still crossed and she glared at them- taking a packet out of her backpack and sliding it across the table towards Elsa.

Elsa smiled a touch and looked at the familiar Sex Ed title her eyes drifting to '_Discuss at Home!' _were the very first topic was **-Sex.**

"Oh..." Elsa looked up at Miza.

"I want to know what that is." Miza pointed to the bolded word- her arms still crossed and her eyebrow still crooked an inch higher then the other.

"Miza can't Jack and I get dressed first or-"

"No." Miza cut Elsa off and glared at Jack. "I don't trust you two alone right now. Plus I need to get my homework done." Jack also looked at the paper and was trying his hardest to contain a laugh. Elsa's hair was plastered to her face and eyeliner was running down her face- alot with the nose ring she probabl looked terrifying. Jack however had his hair perfectly messy and his face was stuck in a permanent state of 'this is hilarious'.

"Well... uh... which one?" Elsa lost her train of thought in her day dreams and stared at the paper.

**-Sex **

**-Pregnancy **

**-Female v. Male**

Elsa stared at the fourth column and almost puked.

**-Sexual Abuse**

She looked into the green eyes of a child she now practically considered her own and wondered if she would ever understand the things which had happened throughout the course of her life. Would Elsa have to explain to Miza her experiences? She cringed at the thought - her heart pounding with both rage and sorrow. If Elsa did not explain would Miza just find out anyways by the articles online, or would she be intuitive enough to catch on? Of course she would, Miza was smarter then she looked.

Miza pointed to the first one.

"That one." She sat back in her chair and looked up at Elsa with huge, curious eyes. Jack chuckled next to her and Elsa swore she was considering slapping him.

"Well... uhm... when a boy a girl love each other... for a long time- A LONG TIME..." Elsa searched for words, Miza coming forward in her chair and looking at her intensely. " Well you know that they kiss- right?" Miza nodded and made a gagging motion. "Okay... well they kiss and then... uhm..." Elsa gripped her towel nervously- Jack was turning red next to her and was tearing up due to his muffled laughter. "they... take each other's clothes off." At this Miza gaze Elsa the most interested/horrified look she had probably ever seen. Her jaw dropped open- both her eyebrows were stitched together and her eyes were bigger then the rest of her almost laughed but manages a straight face. "And uhm... after they, take each other's clothes off, they... lay down in bed." Miza was slowly making her way closer to Elsa- leaning in with curiosity. "And then they uhm... they uhm... kiss some more and..." And with that sentence Elsa's train of thought crashed into Mt. Awkward full force and her entire face was beat red- her body rocking with laughter.

"And what?" Miza said as if Elsa was leaving out the part of the horror flick were the murder opens the closet and kills the children- his hand still on the doorknob and one girl still sneezing. Jack broke his laughter too- both of them falling apart and laughing until their chests burned. "AND WHAT?!" Miza was completely panicked over the subject- practically crawling on the table. Elsa looked at Jack and her laughter just continued- how long had it been since they had laughed like this?

"Adn they give each other hugs Miza." Jack explained quickly. "very _special _hugs." Miza sighed in relief. "And they touch each other." Jack added quietly and with that Miza's horror continued.

"**_WHERE?!"_**

Jack paused and thought for a moment.

"Everywhere."

"_Everywhere?" _Miza looked like she was going to be sick, and when Jack nodded she let her head drop to the table. "... GGGGRRRROOOOOOSSSSSSSSSS! " Her voice came out a whimper and she snatched the sheet off the table, stomping away into her room. "I need a break, we will continue this once I get over the shock I promise." Just as Miza was about to leave she stopped and stared Elsa down again. "What do they do afterwards?"

"They take a shower." Elsa clapped a hand over her mouth, watching as Miza's mouth dropped open again and several dramatic gagging sounds followed as she ran down the hallway. "Oops."

"Well do you think we have scared her enough?" Jack was still red with laughter.

"We are so bad at this." Elsa sighed, wishing that maybe she could have made it less awkward or less hilarious and more serious- probably what the older couple with the stuck up girl were doing right now.

"No, you're a pretty awesome mom."

"No... We're a pretty awesome mom." Elsa smiled a little. _We're. _

.:*:.


	6. Blank Pages

.:*:.

Elsa hung up the phone, she knew Anna wasn't actually going to bed. She stared at the ringer a while longer- Anna was is school, _school_ - the very definition of danger in Elsa's mind. She cringed as the horror crawled up her skin.

"Ma?" Miza's voice snapping Elsa out of her daydream. She swiveled on the carpet to look down at her.

"Yes Miz?"

"What that?" She held up a paper titled '**Birth Control' **Elsa growled in annoyance, when was this awkward science unit going to be over?

Elsa had a past with birth control, she remembered very vividly her first pill- it was on that day, the first time Hans had raped her. Elsa had been terrified of harboring a child, especially _his _child, the very thought made her sick. She ran out of the school house, down overly crowded city streets and into a CVS where she could swipe the pills and the pregnancy tests.

She downed an entire bottle the first time, and if she hadn't puked so many times that afternoon she might have died. She remembered briefly passing out however. She had taken the birth control that entire year, and once Hans left it had become an addiction so she continued to take them, during junior year -while she was still with Marco- it had become a habit so she never really had worried about becoming pregnant. Elsa could admit, the thought of having children of her own blood was beyond terrifying, during freshman year she would have nightmares about having Hans's child, having to live with it inside of her for nine months- watching it being handed to her while wrapped in a hospis blanket, having it stare up at her with his dark, evil eyes.

"Mom... Mommy?" Miza was tugging on her shirt, a worried look on her face. How long had she been doing that? From the width of her eyes and the terror in her harsh tugs it had been awhile.

"Wh-What?" Elsa gulped. "What is it again Miza?"

"This one" Miza pointed to it again. **'Birth Control'. **

Wait, Birth Control.

How long ago had she taken those pills? Since she was in the hospital after the shooting?

Elsa's heart pounded huge, slow thundering on her chest like the monster inside was trying to escape. Sweat damped her forehead and while Miza talked the world around Elsa slowed. She nodded to whatever Miza was saying, the girl too smart to pass it off.

"Miza darling, just... just give me on minute..." Elsa turned and walked towards the bathroom, locking the door behind her and ripping the cabinets of the vanity open. She grappled past boxes and bags until she found the pregnancy tests stashed in the back of the sink."Oh no... God please no..." She whispered after she had taken the test. Elsa paced around the bathroom while the test was analyzing.

How had she been so stupid? She couldn't even parent Miza the right way what would she do if she had another kid running around the house? Elsa didn't even have a stable or somewhat consistent job there was no way Jack and herself could support a kid and Miza. Her parent's life insurance policy was draining by the month, it wouldn't last much longer.

Elsa's nerves rampaged in her head, each variable weighing heavy on her shoulders while she waited for the text results. She stared in the mirror, no longer seeing the blonde hair or the nose ring or huge blue eyes filled with tears. She saw a mother. A terrible, terrible mother.

.:*:.

.(:^:).

Anna sat at the table, tracing designs and patterns out of the wood while the artists above her talked quietly. She slowly stored away information about them each. Colletta was a clay worker and her father was a huge business man. Caine had a knack for wood working and was constantly blasting house music through his headphones. Sinseta had an eating disorder and was a painter like Anna. Rafe's blindness doesn't stop his from blowing glass. Fluer's drawings of fantasy creatures inspired her stories. Nike was a dating Sinseta and an aspired musician, and Kristoff had a knack for oil paints and graffiti.

"Well I'm going home for dinner with Sinseta." Nike put his arm around her shoulder, the girl nodding and the pair waving back at the group.

"Cool, well we're already late for class so why not go out for dinner guys?" Colletta rocked forward on her heels and smiled. everyone nodded and Anna stood up the group migrating to the parking lot.

"Well where do you want to go?" Rafe mumbled over the group with his arm around Fluer's waist.

"Hell lets go to Lagritha's." Caine piped up a little too loudly, his house music blasting from his head phones.

"How does he even hear us over the screaming cats screeching in his ears?" Kristoff surprised Anna by whispering to her.

"I'm not sure maybe he reads lips?" Anna giggled a little and looked back at Kristoff, blushing instantly when she was caught by his big brown eyes.

"Do you want a ride to Lagritha's?" Kristoff looked down at the ground, blushing under his beanie and stained jeans.

"Yes, that would be great... thank you." Anna also looked down at the ground, her arm crossing over her chest awkwardly as she held onto her elbow. _what was that? Does he... like... me? S_he shook the ridiculous thought from her head.

"Sure thing."

.(:^:).

.:*:.

When the results are this crucial, this life changing, five minutes can feel like an eternity. Elsa found her thoughts running so quickly they blurred at the seams, each hypnotic memory taking its toll as if it were happening again. Elsa scrambled through the medicine cabinet, tiny orange cylinders of Jack's insomnia medication and Anna's old antibiotics for her face crashing out of the shelves. She watched as a dozen prescriptions labeled 'ELSA DELANEY AREN' tumbled out of their places and into the sink, falling out of order. She clawed through the mess until she found her anti-anxieties, the ones powerful enough to prevent black-outs and panic attacks. Pill after pill she swallowed each until she was certain the panic would vanish, then her eyes drifted to the test- she stared in horror as the "-" began to appear on the tiny grey screen. She stared until her eyes burned as the symbol solidified into a subtraction sign.

Her back pressed up against the bathroom wall and she slid onto the tile floor, her gaze never leaving the results as she swallowed hard, looking away to bite on her sleeve and squeeze her eyes shut.

_What if it had been positive? _Elsa's mind just about crashed into a brick wall with that question- WHAT IF?

She tossed the white stick in the trash can, slowly setting each prescription bottle back in its rightful place. Jack finished school in a month, he was already trying to get a job application with the Rolling Stones newspaper and publications were beginning to pick up his book - asking him if he was willing to publish. If Jack did end up making bank on his book they could put Elsa through an undergrad program or something online while they tried to move into a house. What if Elsa had been pregnant? Would Jack have signed with one of the lower nonfiction publishers immediately and taken all of the money from his savings to buy a crib and baby clothes? Would they have taken Anna's bedroom apart and painted it pink?

She could see it so clearly, she could taste it. Jack would curse as he read the directions and the legs to he crib still would not stay, Miza would jump up and down excited to hang pictures of angels and horses on the walls. A dresser full of ones-ys and too many diapers to count. The mobile from her mother that Anna and Elsa had both used, the one with flying cats and dogs. An old teddy bear that had been her fathers and then hers for a long while, the one she called 'Remmby' and was missing an eye which her mom had replaced twice before giving up. The child's first laugh, first time crawling, first steps, first words, first time getting herself dressed, first time braiding her own hair, first day of school, first playdate, first boyfriend, first car, graduating highschool, moving out...

Elsa's sobs broke the surface of her protective barrier, traveling through the air electrically. Miza's soft knocks startled her, she stared up at the top of the medicine cabinet were a single tin of 'to-old-to-remember-when-you-last-took-it' birth control pills. She held the package, Miza knocking again and whimpering what sounded like '_Momma?'. _Elsa looked back at the mirror the words _Mom, Mommy, Mother, Momma, Mum, Ma, _ringing in her ears. She tried to picture another little person stumbling around the house, a boy with Jack's hair that curled in the mornings or eyes like Anna's that glowed green around the edges and blue in their cores.

With shaking hands, she pressed the pill until it popped free ot it's aluminum binding and popped the pill into her mouth- _No going back. _She swallowed and latched her hand around the doorknob so she could look down at the crying fifth grader who thought it was all her fault for making Elsa cry.

"Hey Miz," She crouched on her knees- wiping away her own tears and then Miza's. "Do you want to go get some ice cream?"

Miza nodded and looked up at Elsa. "Mom why are you crying? I'm sorry I didn't mean it,"

"Shh, No Its not you Miza ok? Elsa forced herself to smile weakly and kissed Miza's forehead. "I'm just a little scared right now." Elsa slowly stood up.

"What are you scared of?" Miza rose, her eyes never leaving Elsa's as she reached for her hand.

"Do you want to know the truth?" Elsa took the girl's hand tightly in hers and started to walk out of the duplex, snatching her car keys. Miza nodded at her and Elsa took a deep breath, closing the front door as they left. "Everything."

.:*:.

"Well bye guys." Colletta smiled, setting her part of the bill on the table and leaving Anna alone with Kristoff at a dirty table at Lagritha's. empty plates of things like hamburgers and ribs and barbeque scattered the table, sitting in uniform next to empty cups of soda and beer. they both waves and Anna dug through her purse to find cash, Kristoff stopping her when she went to place it of the bill.

"Its alright I got it." Kristoff didn't wait for her consent, he placed the bills on the table and stood up- his chair screeching on the wood floors.

"Oh- oh uh, thanks." She followed him suit out of Lagritha's bar and grill.

"Well that was fun." Kirtoff smiled down at her. Anna liked Kristoff, ven after just a week, Kristoff was kind and sweet- she loved every word that came out of his mouth- he just seemed perfect.

"Oh especially Fluer with all her casual jokes about the manager while he was sitting a few tables away."

"I wouldn't be shocked if the next time we showed up we were told to leave." They both laughed a little before an awkward silence followed. Oh his laugh, his beautiful laugh that seemed like silk compared to hers- which sounded more like a toddler banging on a broken piano.

"So..." Anna breathed into the oddly thin air, tucking her hair behind her ear, and taking it bac out when she realized how much it made her car stick out. She would forget sometimes, just for a few moments.

"So..." Kristoff raised an eyebrow and stared back. They both tumbled into the car were Kristoff turned the heater on.

"You cold?" Anna leaned against the side dash and looked over at him.

"Well I grew up in Florida, this place is always cold to me." He laughed a little and then another odd silence followed before a thought hit Anna.

"Shoot!"

Kristoff jumped with driving, the car swerving a few feet. "What!?"

"I left all my canvases at the studio in the art hall."

"Oh its fine i'll just drive you by there."

They rushed the hallways like madmen just as everyone was getting ready to go home, a handful of students staring at the girl with a huge facial scar. Oh she hated when people stared at her like a zoo animal.

They dashed to the art hall just as the head art director was about to close it up.

"Wait! wait!" They both called and Anna's speed maintained itself as she jumped through the maybe 3 feet of an opening the director was just about to close.

"Sorry!" She called behind her as she scrambled to the studio doors, grabbing her canvases off the closest table and running back out so quickly she fell face first into Kristoff's chest and they tumbled on top of eachother. "Oh!"

"Uh - hi?" Kristoff looked up at her with chocolate colored eyes. His blonde hair a mess from the fall and his face reddened with blush.

"Uhm." She watched his eyes- and he was... _staring. _She instantly felt the tears, the shame. Her heart squeezed up, shriveling away and crying itself. She pushed herself off of him and snatched each canvas, making her way quickly down the hall, fighting each tear.

She sniffed and clutched each cloth - like frame tightly. She knew people would stare, she knew she'd never have a chance, she would _never _just be Anna, she was always going to be 'the girl with a scarred smile'.

"Anna!" She heard much faster footsteps begin to follow her outside.

"Don't bother- I'll walk!" She maintained a sob-free voice, gritting her teeth.

"Wait Anna." Kristoff caught up to her, looking at her worriedly. "What's wrong? I'm sorry was it because I was staring."

"No!" Anna replied somewhat sarcastically.

"Oh no Anna you have the wrong idea I wasn't staring because of the..." His vvoice trailed off as he hesiated too long.

"The scar." Anna replied through bitter teeth.

"No- Anna it wasn't the scar."

"Then what was it?" She snapped at him and dropped her canvases- looking up at him.

"You're beautiful."

.(:^:).


	7. Beauty

.:*:.

All day Elsa potted flowers, cut dead ends off roses and smiled at every father or boyfriend that walked through the door. Agatha's flowers was the only flower shop within a 80 mile radius, she had men and woman from cities away come to get flowers of all kinds in the fairly big floral shop. She had numerous scabs on her fingers from the roses she was bagging and potting all day. She picked up her last bushel, cutting all of the flaws off each flower- trimming each to perfection.

She went to put the last of the red roses back and a prick of pain made her drop it, she looked down at her palm were a huge cut was now bleeding, she grimaced- staring at the cut for too long, thinking to hard about how she had done that- didn't she take all of the thorns off that stem?

She crouched on the floor to pick the flower up, twirling it's stem until she found the culprit- a single thorn she must have not seen that was bloodied on the tip. She stared at the seamless rose- the perfect example of what Agatha had shown her the first day she worked their, it's petals clipped to leave only the healthier parts, each leave was green and thriving- the stem barren. Well, almost barren.

Its funny really, some of the most beautiful things hurt you the most. She took the flower to her cold water sink and rinsed away the blood, then rinsing her hand. The water splashed on her sleeves but she hardly cared anymore. She placed the flower back in its place, taking the vase back to the shelf were it belonged.

She must have not heard the back door open because when Agatha stomped towards her around the corner she jumped backwards and screamed a little.

"Oh god Elsa you're such a spaz." Agatha snorted and her and tossed her long black hair, the older woman looking down at her with a smile. Elsa relaxed a little, looking down to see her hand had flown to her sternum and the other was clutching the flower trimmers for dear life. She set them down on the shelf and took a deep breath, the anxiety dimming down and her breath returning.

"And Hello to you too Agatha." She followed Agatha as she snorted again and waddled over to the freezers. Agatha was a heavier woman with huge green eyes and n odd obsession with red lipstick because she wore it literally every day. She peered at the arrangements Elsa had made earlier, one consisting of a dozen purple lilies and a single yellow one popping out of the crowd lonesomely.

"Oh Elsa you have such a talent really quiet amazing." Agatha peeped up loudly and trotted away back to the shelf.

"Oh thank-"

"Oh and these roses! So beautiful." Before Elsa could finish the woman continued her babbling and bouncing around the shop. "Such good work Elsa I knew it when I saw you that you were going to be a keeper!" She opened the cash register, her eyes lighting up. "Oh Elsa the sales always seem to boom with you in the shop!" Elsa giggled at the woman and linked her own hands together in front of her. "Such a pity we have to sell the place."

"What?!" Elsa looked up at the tell woman with huge blue eyes. Sell the shop? Would Elsa have to get another job? What if she couldn't? Its so hard for a high school dropout to get a job. how would she pay the bills? Would Jack have to drop out? and what about the shop and Agatha? The shop was like her own little baby step outside into the world which had hurt her so badly over the years. She loved the flower shop- she loved everything about it- even Agatha with all of her babbling and outgoing energy.

"Oh yeah, me and Ted are going to move to a condo in Alaska, such a pitty I wish I could keep it and still manage it- but that is so difficult and not knowing what is going on in my own shop? Oh! I could never! The city will probably buy it and turn it into a Starbucks or a McDonald's and I'll be sure to give them my condolences to your employment if you wanted?"

Throughout Agatha's continuous ramble Elsa added up each penny from her parent's life insurance policy, calculated the probable income from the flower shop every month before looking at up Agatha with a grin.

"I'll take it."

Agatha stared at her or a moment, raising an eyebrow.

"What? You'll buy the shop?"

"Yes!" Elsa looked at the clock and began her way out of the door. "Wait - wait here for just one moment and I'll be back." Elsa run from the shop into her car.

She would buy the flower shop, she could have a steady income for her little makeshift family- maybe even one day they could move out of the duplex, she cold buy Miza that dress they saw in a 'Forever 21' window, she could help Jack pay for a publishing agent.

She looked at the near empty road and sped towards the future, her eyes never once looking back at the rearview mirrors. Just forward at every possibility she could find.

.:*:.

.(:^:).

Anna rolled over in bed, propping herself up by her elbows when the vibrating of her phone woke her. _19 unread messages. _

She sighed and reluctantly slid the screen open, 4_ messages from Fluer, 2 from Caine, 2 from Colletta, 1 from Rafe, 3 from Nike, _She even had a message from Sinseta, which was saying alot considering Sinseta would never text anyone. But it was the 6 messages from Kristoff she was reluctant to read.

_'Hey Anna are you there?'_

'_I'm sorry, are you ok?'_

'_Hey, __Anna I saw you didn't show up to class today... are you okay?' _

_'Please reply I'm so sorry.' _

_'Anna please its been three days, come out of your dorm.'_

_'Anna?' _

She sighed and flopped back on her bed, for three days she had talked only to Fluer on occasion, because she was usually staying at Rafe's apartment- and when Fluer tried to talk about what was wrong Anna shut her out, something that after her sister doing the same to her she swore she would never do...

And now Anna understood why- because pain is so fragile, so prickly and thorny that sometimes it hurts your throat. Sometimes you think that the eating away at your insides is better then the cutting at your teeth and tongue. Sour as bile, the words sear and sting when vocalized.

And Anna would force herself to believe a few more anxiety pills or another nap would fix her- but each dream becomes a nightmare, each pill becomes ignition for the fire. Each medication adding to the pain, making it sharper.

Each memory goes a little slower, a little more detailed, a little more real until she cannot distinguish between reality and fiction because at that moment they are one in the same.

She could practically taste Kristoff's words. "You're beautiful."

Beauty, beauty was pure, sweet to the touch, soft to taste. Beauty was graceful, elegant- clean. Untainted. Perfection. Beauty. Beauty was a boy with green eyes that loved a long sleeved girl so much he gave up everything to sustain her happiness. Beauty was the way a little sister looked up at her brother like he was the greatest thing in the world. Beauty was a child-boy with white hair that bounced through life like nothing could be more pristine. Beauty was a girl with blue eyes and pale skin and the most beautiful smile on her face when they would share secrets, or the way she would crouch on her knees to look at Anna. Beauty was two loving parents that would tuck her in every night, a father's voice when he would tell a story, the scent of her mother's hair when she held Anna close.

Anna knew beauty like an old friend, as of she herself had been home to it's very presence.

What did Kristoff know about beauty? He had never witnessed it being destroyed in front of him.

.(:^:).

.:*:.

"You have no idea what you're doing, so you?" Agatha leaned back in the chair. Elsa looked in the corner of her eyes, meeting Jack's gaze.

"We have an idea." She looked back at Agatha. "How hard can it be?"

"Well, I trust you, and I trust your judgement. The shop will be closing tomorrow and then your on your own Elsa." Agatha stood up, taking her purse off the table. Elsa nodded at her.

"Thank you Agatha."

"Thank you too Elsa," The woman waddled out of the duplex, her car's engine roaring away.

"So... buying your own shop?" Jack whistled, Elsa rolling her eyes and sanding up, clearing the table and starting the dishes. "Well doesn't this call for a celebration?" His arms were instantly wrapped around her waist, his lips brushing her neck, Elsa sighed quietly- leaning into his touch, titling her head when his kisses dared higher. She reached for a towel, drying soapy hands and running cold fingers down his arms. He released her, rummaging through counters and cabinets before cracking open a bottle of champagne, one Elsa had bought him for his 21st birthday recently. He gave her a gass and returned to her, taking her hand and guiding her into the living room.

"Cheers?" Elsa tipped her glass upwards.

"Cheers." Jack's glass touched hers, sending a glorious singing of glass into the air. They both sipped the liquid, Elsa's mouth ringing with the bubbling carbonation. It was late, at least midnight, and moon light dripped into the living room. Jack took her glass, setting them both on the coffee table, he took her hands, rocking her back and forth. "Come on lets dance." Elsa giggled quietly.

"But there is no music." Her eyes caught the glitter in his eyes.

"Imagine there is, and we are not in the living room either, we are at a great hall in London- a ballroom filled with shades of gold and bronze, just close your eyes, and I'll guide you."

Elsa chuckled again, but found herself obeying and closing her eyes- she wasn't in a living room in a run down duplex located in a less then middle class neighborhood. She was in London clothed in silks and laces. She swayed to music only she could heard and leaned into Jack as if he was the only thing left in her world. Jack spun her, when she came back to him his lips met hers her mind pulling her back into reality.

"Were did you go?"Jack whispered against her lips.

" To you." Elsa opened gorgeous blue eyes and met Jack's oceanic gaze.

"Did you like it there?" His intoxicated breath was cool against her cheek.

"I loved it." Her fingers linked into his tightly, each touch another storm, another light, a new beginning. She closed her eyes again, returning to that place only Jack could take her- back to that place were she was no longer Elsa. Elsa Aren did not exist there. No, not Elsa, not the girl who had been raped, not the girl who had been hurt. Not the girl with scars up her wrist. Not the girl with a dead best friend. Not Elsa.

She danced across her ballroom with short sleeves and blank arms, she danced as is a smiled had never been stolen from her. She looked at Jack, and he was the only one.

She opened her eyes, returning to her living room, and he was still the only one.

.:*:.

.(:^:).

_Knock knock knock. _

"Go away..."

"Anna this is nonsense- come out!... Please?" Kristoff sounded tired, and Anna was tired of this game. She swung her feet off her bed, yanked to door open and looked up at him.

"Anna-"

"Shut up." Anna silenced him, grabbing his shirt collar and pulling him into a kiss. When she released him, he looked shocked to say the least. "Listen. I know you probably dont like me that way, but I like you that way and I am sick of always feeling like shit because I have this stupid scar. Here is the deal, I like you and I would have told you earlier I was just certain you didn't like me that way- and You deserve a girl who is pretty and perfect and not all fucked up like I am so I tried pushing you away. Either way, the thing is if you dont like me, say something now because I'll get out of your life and wont bother you anymore, it hurts too much for me to see you all the time and know that I have feelings for you that you do not have for me." Anna looked at him, his cheeks still red with blush and hers still tingling with that amazing electric feeling.

"Shut up." He whispered, bringing her in for another long lived kiss, glorified by the moment, Anna's heart beating fast and loud. the broke apart, Anna's smiling beautifully, no matter the broken way it appeared. "Is that a good answer."

"Perfect."

.(:^:).


End file.
